Little moments

I constantly find myself amazed at the little things in life that can seem so great. You know, like when someone holds the door for you, or when a stranger passes on a smile. And sunshine! don't forget sunshine. These are the moments that make my life wonderful; the simple, everyday things that often go unnoticed but can make a world of difference if you stop to look at them.

One of these moments happened last year. That one simple moment I can recall with great ease and feel exactly all of the same feelings. One thing that I have never really written about, although it has had a tremendous impact on my life, is spending the summer on Nantucket two years ago. This was by far the best summer of my life so far; I met so many amazing people and had unforgettable experiences. During this time I cared for three amazing children, and one of them was just a baby.

I try to get back to Nantucket to visit that family every time I can, which turns out to be a couple of times a year. Last summer I was visiting with the girls and having a great time playing at the beach when I encountered one of those priceless little moments. The youngest girl, who was only a baby when I watched her, reached out her arms, cueing me to pick her up. Of course I did and at that moment she threw her arms around my neck and gave me the biggest, best hug I could have ever asked for. And it wasn't just a "fake hug," this hug lasted for about 30 seconds. 

I think about this moment a lot when I'm feeling sad about the job I have now and when I question if I am making a difference in peoples lives. I think back to that hug because, at that point in time, she remembered me. She remembered me even though so much time had passed and that hug said "I love you." 

I guess why I am writing about this is to say don't let the little moments pass you by because, without them, life is just a big blur. Cherish these times and cherish your life. The "good old days" are now.

Miracle

For real, this is a miracle:

THE RING HAS BEEN FOUND!!!!

Don't ask me how it happened, don't ask me the details. However, I will tell you this: it was found exactly 1 week after it was lost AND over 75 miles away. We think it had something to do with the laundry.

Man, I am never getting drunk and taking this ring off my finger ever again. 

ConGRADulations

Dear Scott,

Since you are now a college graduate (cum laude, I just have to add) and I have yet to give you a present I wanted to tell you what I wish for you. I wish that you will be happy and enjoy every minute of your life. I wish that you will continue to do great things. I know that you will succeed at anything you do and that you will impress everyone that you meet with your kindness, compassion and generosity. I wish that everyone will see you how I see you, as a man with an incredible heart and a good head atop his shoulders. Keep working hard and I know you can succeed at anything you put your mind to.While you are unsure about what your future holds, I know that you are going to be something great (-er than you already are).

You have been working at your job now for about four months and are already making great strides. Your clients love you, you are good at what you do, and people trust in you. In the profession you have chosen trust is crucial. Your clients trust you with, essentially, their lives. Even in such a little time you have established wonderful relationships with your clients and are already making a difference in their lives.

I think that you have one of the best jobs that there could be. I envy you because you get to help people do one of the hardest things possible: feel good about themselves. And I know that you do. That is a wonderful thing. I know this because you constantly help me to feel good about myself and there is really no way to describe how wonderful you make me feel. If you give at least an ounce of that feeling to others then they are so, so, so lucky.

I’m so proud of you, Scott. Have I said that yet? And, in all seriousness, congratulations, my love. I am so happy and lucky to have a part in your life.

I love you,

Jennicus

Fitting

"Over the years, we've discovered that it's always like this with us. No matter how large the transition, our approach to it feels choreographed, steps we've known for so long, we can't remember when we didn't know them."  – Kathryn Harrison

Rain, rain go away

That's been my mantra for the past 2 weeks and today it finally happened! I woke up to beautiful sunshine coming through the window. To top off that excitement, I finished all of my classes of junior year today. The only things standing in my way from being a senior in college are two finals which I will take next week. Smile. 

I need sunshine

This is the second week in a row it's been raining non-stop.There hasn't even been a speck of sunshine. Not one. I'm going out of my mind. Oh yeah, and there's no end in sight.

I am going to build an ark. Who's with me? 

Lost

I don’t have very many things that I consider precious; my grandmother’s diamond earrings, the ring Scott gave me only a month after we had been together, my camera, maybe a few other things, but not many. However, Friday night I lost one of those things and I am heartbroken about it.

January 17, 2005. I was at Scott’s apartment and we were watching a movie. All of a sudden he disappears upstairs then comes back down and hands me a note. It is the first clue to a scavenger hunt. I thought it was the greatest thing on Earth. He had me running around the apartment searching for the other clues, it was so funny. When I got to the last clue I knew exactly where the end was and I ran to find it. There was a note there, smaller than all the other ones. It read, “Are you falling in love with me, too?” I really couldn’t believe it, how special was this? I was so excited I ran downstairs and kissed him.

“Did you get it?” he says.

“I got the clue,” I told him.

“No, go back up”

Needless to say, I went back upstairs and where the clue was a tiny ring was hanging. And it was beautiful.

Fast forward.

May 12, 2006. It was a fun, drunken night. Extremely rare for me, seeing as how I rarely go out and rarely drink. It was so much fun. There are details, I am sure, but I don’t remember them. What I do remember, despite the Worst Hangover of my Life, is that I woke up and did not have the ring on. We searched and searched every single inch of this apartment. I made Scott take apart the sink pipes and everything. We still haven’t found it.

It’s really not the ring that I miss, and despite the loneliness that my finger feels, I miss that I could look down at my finger and see the ring and think back to that night. I miss that I would instantly be reminded that someone loves me enough to give me this ring. And I lost it. It just kills me because I don’t remember a damn thing that happened or what I could have possibly done with it. This really wouldn’t have ever happened if I were sober, or not nearly as intoxicated.

Now, when I look down at my finger I am just heartbroken. I don’t care, you can say that I am overreacting but I cannot tell you how much the ring means to me. The search will continue– I refuse to surrender another item to the Place Where the Lost Things Go.

Celebration!

Yesterday I submitted my resignation at work! June 16 is my LAST DAY working for The Psycho Lesbian. Could I be more excited? I think not!

Annnd, one of my favorite people just found this website! You should all check her out (over on the links page she is Claudia Kronenberg). She’s an awesome person and photographer and I swear she is going to photograph my wedding.

High spirits

The other day I rented the movie The Family Stone. Despite having seen it at the theater and being less than thrilled with it I decided that, as with most things, it deserves a second chance. And I'm so glad I did. The Family Stone is the best movie I have seen in awhile. What I like most about this movie is that, despite being a Christmas movie, the characters do not go crazy running around buying presents for each other; their Christmas season is not hectic. It showcases the real reason why we celebrate the holidays: to be with family. It made me wish that all of my Christmases will be like that.

Apologies

I apologize for my brief hiatus. I was on sabbatical. I've always wanted to say that and really don't know what it means. So yeah, I wasn't really on sabbatical I was just being busy and lazy at the same time. But! I do have some upcoming posts that should thrill the pants off of you, Internet.

In the mean time here's a funny conversation that happened today:

Preface: Tori's mother threw out her flipflops because they were too small. Tori is understandably devastated by this and proceeds to make her own flipflops by standing on her Birkenstock clogs and fashioning some sort of string and rubber band contraption to hold her feet to the shoes.

"Tori, you're funny"

"What makes me funny?"

"Well, I don't think I know anyone who would try to make their own flipflops out of some string"

"I do. There's this guy…oh, what's his name….um… Ben Franklin! he would make his own flipflops I bet"