Apologies

I apologize for my brief hiatus. I was on sabbatical. I've always wanted to say that and really don't know what it means. So yeah, I wasn't really on sabbatical I was just being busy and lazy at the same time. But! I do have some upcoming posts that should thrill the pants off of you, Internet.

In the mean time here's a funny conversation that happened today:

Preface: Tori's mother threw out her flipflops because they were too small. Tori is understandably devastated by this and proceeds to make her own flipflops by standing on her Birkenstock clogs and fashioning some sort of string and rubber band contraption to hold her feet to the shoes.

"Tori, you're funny"

"What makes me funny?"

"Well, I don't think I know anyone who would try to make their own flipflops out of some string"

"I do. There's this guy…oh, what's his name….um… Ben Franklin! he would make his own flipflops I bet"

Adventures in Target

Last night Scott and I were driving to Target because I needed to “pick up a few things” but really I just wanted to go because I like it there. Our Target is really nice.

Anyway, on the way Scott was eating mini powdered donuts, you know the kind. I take a break from singing and look over at him to find white powder smeared all over his nose.

“If I went in like this do you think there would be a problem?” he asked.

And then we laughed.

Protected: This is when correcting her would be the RIGHT thing to do

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Poop

after leaving his mom and her friend after lunch and shopping:

“dude walk faster i have to go to the bathroom”

“i know, i really have to poop”

“i’ve had to go since we were at the restaurant but i didnt want to go since there were only 3 stalls and your mom was in there”

“and you fart when you poop”

“yeah, and all the sound effects”

Skinny Bitch

“Look at this book! It’s too funny”

“This is the reason why Bob* won’t be with Jane*”

Sometimes I feel bad for guys.

(*) names have been changed